45 Clean Jokes

May 28, 2017

General Knowledge Joke

A blonde was sitting in class when the professor asked her if she knew what the Roe vs Wade decision was. She sat there for quite a while pondering this very profound question and finally said, "I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware."

Child Joke

One summer evening, a 3-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help. His mother said, "No, but I appreciate your asking." The child responded, "Well, I appreciate your saying no."

Doc Joke

The seven-year old told her mom that a little boy in her class asked her to play doctor. "Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?" "Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

Medicine Joke

My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone. "Hello," she whispered. "Hi, Honey. How's your mother doing?" I asked. "She's sleeping," she answered, again in a whisper. "Did she go to the doctor?" I asked. "Yes. She got some medicine," my niece said softly. "Well, don't wake her. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?" Again in a soft whisper, she answered, "Practicing my trumpet."

Lunatic Joke

Three lunatics wanted to run away from a mental hospital. The first one passes the guard, makes a sound of a cat, and continues. The second one does exactly the same; makes the sound of cat and gets out. The third man then passes near the guard and yells, "I'm a cat too!"

Jew Joke

Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted. “Give me some good French wine and French bread,” he requested. So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Next it was the Italian’s turn. Give me a big plate of pasta,” said the Italian. So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Now it was the Jew’s turn. “I want a big bowl of strawberries, ” said the Jew. “Strawberries!!! They aren’t even in season!” “So, I’ll wait…”

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