75 Silly Jokes

Nun Joke

A doctor is walking down the hall of the hospital toward his office when he passes Mother Angelica walking very briskly while saying her rosary rather loudly. His associate, a Psychotherapist, comes around the corner next and he asks him about this. "Hey, what's with Mother Angelica? She was just hoofing down the hall and saying her rosary to beat the band." "Aw, I just told her she was pregnant." "My God, is she?" "No, of course not, but it sure cured her hiccups!"

Father Joke

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..." "Yes, son?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

Male Joke

Our Lamaze class included a tour of the paediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture a number. "Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently. "This must not be your first," I said. "Oh, yes," he said. "It's my first." "Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked. He shrugged. "I'm a fisherman."

Stupid Joke

I was getting my hair cut at a neighbourhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son. Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."

Magic Joke

There was three blondes stranded on a island far, far away. They saw a magic bottle floating on the water. They retrieved it and they went ahead and rubbed it, a genie came out and said " thank you very much ladies". The genie said, "just letting me out, I will grant you all one wish and one wish only", so all three blondes were really excited. The first blonde said "I want to be rich and have a big mansion with a big swimming pool, and poof, she was gone having a good time. The second blonde said, "I want to be a millionaire and own a plane with a cute husband to take care of me and travel the world", and poof, she was of with her husband having a good time. Then the third blonde was so sad that her friends left, and the genie asked, "what is wrong?". The blonde said, you know what I wish? "I wish my friends were back here with me", and poof, the other two blondes appeared, and all there were back together again.

Job Joke

Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he tried, his reputation as someone who was not dedicated to the job, seemed to follow him around. One day the phone rang at his office. Although Bob did not usually pick up the phone, he picked it up and said hello. “Hi” said the man on the line, “I have an unusual question to ask you, I’m looking into a fellow Bob Smith for a position in my company. Do you know this fellow?” “Sure I know him”, responded Bob with a smile. “Tell me,” asked the man. “Is he consistent with his work? Does he always show up on time?” “Well I’ll be honest with you” Bob truthfully replied, “I’m not so consistent myself, but whenever I’m here he’s here!”

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